Free Love
Mike Birbiglia's one-man show, "My Girlfriend's Boyfriend," recounts a history of romantic mishaps.
Image credit: Joan Marcus
Stand-up comic Mike Birbiglia is putting a new spin on the term romantic comedy.
His show, My Girlfriend's Boyfriend, chronicles a lifetime of romantic misfortune – including one particularly off-putting experience involving junk food, a fast-paced carnival ride and, well, a bit of cleanup.
Birbiglia will be sharing his misery on stage at the Guthrie Theater’s Wurtele Thrust Stage on Monday, Feb. 13 (how’s that for appropriate timing?).
Because we’re such a benevolent bunch, we want you to go. METRO has five pairs of tickets to the show. One grand prize winner will also get a $100 gift card to Sanctuary Restaurant to be used before the show (our take: Sanctuary delights with the fun side of fine dining).
To enter for a chance to win, send an e-mail relating your worst date ever to giveaways@metromag.com by 5 p.m. on Wednesday, Feb. 1. We’ll give the tickets to the readers who inspire the most sympathy.
+ Mike Bribiglia’s show My Girlfriend’s Boyfriend will be staged at 7:30 p.m. Monday, Feb. 13 at the Guthrie Theater’s Wurtele Thrust Stage. The show is presented by Sue McLean & Associates as part of the Live at the Guthrie series. For tickets and more information visit guthrietheater.org.
Comments
Sadie Hawkins
A freshman new to Minnesota, when a pretty girl asked me to the Sadie Hawkins dance I thought maybe I was getting somewhere socially in my new school. Her mom was supposed to bring her over to my place, and my folks would drive us from there.
When she was an hour late (long before cell phones) my mother drove me to the dance where I waited in vain. Then I spotted a mutual friend and thought I'd ask him, so I hurried to follow him around a corner into a dark hallway.
Suddenly something whirled out of the darkness and smashed against my head! He had been chasing some kids who had stolen his whiskey, and they threw it at him and missed, hitting me!
While my date in her fancy dress was trying to push her mom's car out of a muddy ditch, a teacher led me bleeding and covered in whiskey right across the dance floor.
I was TOTALLY making social inroads at my new school.
Sleepy
A gal I was interested in called and asked ME to take her to the drive-in theater that night. I was very excited, but arrived to find her obviously drunk. We drove to the movie, where she promptly fell asleep with her head on my leg. She slept through both films, I slept through the second one, and we woke up when the second movie ended. When I dropped her off she said "Thanks, I my parents would have killed me if they came home and found me drunk."
No sense in focusing on the
No sense in focusing on the negative events of the past. I want to win those tickets though. :-)
Worst date contender
He arrived two hours late, well after I had written him off, and convinced me against my better judgment to still go to dinner with him. Weak with hunger, I relented.
He took me to the old Figlio and I promptly ordered a glass of wine. He got a soda, explaining that he didn't drink. Fair enough, but odd considering I met him in a bar. Turns out he didn't drink for religious reasons: he was a Muslim. Fine by me, but he went on to pepper me with questions about my own religion. I was somewhat non-committal, which prompted him to declare that he could NEVER marry a woman who was not a practicing Muslim. Since women who are practicing Muslims are unlikely to meet men in bars, I quickly deduced what his interest in me might be. And all this before the server even took our order.
Yet I did think I deserved a meal for all the disrespect he had shown me, so when the waitress arrived I ordered some pasta and he ordered, "Nothing, thank you. I've already eaten." WHAT???? While I was waiting for him for two hours he was eating. Clearly no concept of what it meant to go on a dinner date.
So there we sat, me in an indignant silence and him sipping nervously at his soda, watching me eat my entire meal. The awkwardness still makes me cringe.
But that didnt stop him from leaning in for a smooch when he dropped me off at the end of the night. Unbelievable. I had the enormous pleasure of telling him never to call me again and punctuating my point with a very satisfying door slam.
I still can't quite believe that happened. Unreal.
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