The Late Show
A Friday night at El Nuevo Rodeo on Lake Street, one of the largest Latino nightclubs in the Midwest.
Image credit: Marshall Franklin Long
Attention, night owls, vampires, ninjas, insomniacs, Latin American expatriates and other nocturnal creatures: There has never been a better time than, well, tonight, to burn the midnight oil in the Twin Cities. Last call comes later than ever (thank you 2003 legislation!), after-hours entertainment abounds and, best of all, many of our finest restaurants will feed you well past the witching hour, something that was unheard of ’round these parts five years ago. Consider the following a dusk-to-dawn to-do list, a nightlight to lead you through the shadow play, so to speak, that awaits you in the restless city.
So devoted are we to the pursuit of uncovering the the best late-night spots that we selflessly went out on the town and filmed these videos (complete with flamenco performers and rappers) of nightlife in St. Paul and Northeast Minneapolis.
EATING & DRINKING
Late-night happy hours
Best Place To Curl Up By an Outdoor Fireplace
Sweeney’s Saloon
After devouring a pile of 60-cent wings and enjoying a reduced-price pitcher (or two) on the Sweeney’s patio during late-night happy hour, the gigantic outdoor fireplace will lull you into a coma. [96 North Dale Street, St. Paul; 612.396.0701; late-night happy hour: 7 p.m.–close]
Best Sweet and Spicy Treats
Senor Wong’s Wonton Poppers
Crispy on the outside and spicy on the inside, these jalapeno- and cream cheese-injected wonders (6 for $4 during happy hour) partner perfectly with Wong’s potent Polynesian cocktails. [111 Kellogg Blvd. E., St. Paul; 651.224.2019; late-night happy hour: weekdays, 10 p.m.–1 a.m.; weekends, 10 p.m.–1 a.m.]
Best Pre-Show Treat
Triple Rock’s “Cheesy” Vegan Nachos
Unlike most small music venues, a strategically placed hallway separates the bar from the concert at the Triple Rock. That means you can gorge on chips dipped in a salty-sweet, cheese-like sauce before moseying on over to hear the band. [629 Cedar Ave., Mpls.; 612.333.7399; full menu served until 1 a.m., seven days a week]
Best Place to Eat $2 Dishes by Award-Winning Chefs in the Middle of the Night
Solera
Tim McKee runs the place—you’ve heard of him, right? What you might not know is that J.P. Samuelson of JP American Bistro is helming the kitchen, which puts two stud local chefs on the Spanish restaurant’s masthead. Even more interesting: During their late-night happy hour, Solera’s prices drop faster than the value of the Euro, as chevre-stuffed piquillo peppers start going for just two good ol’ American bucks a pop. [900 Hennepin Ave., Mpls.; 612.338.0062; late-night happy hour: 9 p.m.–midnight Sun.-Thurs.; 10 p.m.-midnight Fri. & Sat.]
Best Late-Night Happy Hour for Beer Snobs
Pracna on Main
It’s the universal happy hour beer-price rule: Domestics may be cheap, but imports and micro-brews are (at most) a dollar off their already-inflated prices. Which means they’re still more than you want to pay. But not at Pracna: Starting at 9 p.m., all taps are just $2.66—and that includes such local favorites as Surly and Furthermore. [117 Main St. S.E., Mpls.; 612.379.3200; late-night happy hour: 9 p.m.–11 p.m.]
Best Reason to Eat Breakfast Really Early in the Morning
Chino Latino’s French Toast Of The Dead
For a mere $3, Uptown’s loud, sexy happy hour temple will serve you the perfect liquor mop: Mexi-style French toast made with flatbread, sliced bananas and Meyer’s rum caramel syrup. [2916 Hennepin Ave., Mpls.; 612.824.7878; late-night happy hour: 10:30 p.m.–Midnight, Sun.–Thurs.]
Best Two-for-One Buns
Moto-I’s Steamed Buns with Pork Belly
Hot, pillow-y and loaded with pork belly, Moto-i’s dim sum-style buns are the kind of bar snack you want to curl up inside and fall asleep. But that would be messy. Instead, gobble them two for the price of one ($3) during the Uptown saki bar’s second happy hour of the day. [2940 S. Lyndale Ave., Mpls.; 612.821.6262; late-night happy hour: 10 p.m.–2 a.m., Sun.–Thurs.]
Best $5 Margarita
The Barrio Margarita
A well-made margarita is an exercise in restraint. To add anything but ice, 100 percent agave tequila, fresh lime juice and a splash of Cointreau (salt is optional) is to soil the cocktail’s simple, savage beauty. Barrio understands this better than most tequila slingers, and, lucky for you, its St. Paul outpost’s happy hour marg is only five bones. [235 E. Sixth St., St. Paul; 651.222.3500; late-night happy hour: 10 p.m.–midnight, Sun.–Thurs.]
Best Place for a Midnight Tuna Belly Run
Fuji-Ya
During its late-night happy time, Fuji-Ya Minneapolis knocks a buck or two off its raw fish. Maximize your happiness by sitting at its lively, crescent-shaped sushi bar and ordering the white toro nigiri (two pieces of delectable tuna belly over rice for $3.50) and a Budweiser tallboy ($3.50). [600 W. Lake St.; Mpls.; 612.871.4055; late-night happy hour: 10 p.m.–midnight, Tues.–Thurs.]
Best Late-night Fries
Uptown Cafeteria and Support Group’s Disco Fries
Cafeteria’s glass elevator and the rooftop deck to which it travels have been getting all the press, but the true champion at this playhouse of a restaurant are the obnoxiously named, obnoxiously delicious Disco Fries ($3 during happy hour): crinkle-cut spuds topped with gravy and melted cream cheese. [3001 Hennepin Ave., Mpls.; 612.877.7263; late-night happy hour: 10 p.m.–midnight, Mon.–Thurs.]
Best Place To Get Your Gatsby On
W.A. Frost
With its fabulous patio and $5 happy-hour calamari and pulled pork sandwiches, a trip the Frost is a great excuse to party like it’s 1922. [374 Selby Ave., St. Paul; 651.224.5715; nighttime happy hour: 9–11 p.m.]
Best Upscale Middle- Eastern Bar Food
Saffron’s late-night menu
Few late-night menus boast mini lamb BLTs, spiced potato samosas and mirqaz sausage tagine. Saffron’s does, and Twin Cities bar food is all the more civilized for it. [123 N. Third St., Mpls.; 612.746.5533; Late-night happy hour ($3.50 small plates, $2 domestic beer): 11 p.m.–1 a.m., Fri. & Sat.]
Nightcaps
Best Sleeping Potion
Prohibition’s Epiphany Martini
Mixed with Grey Goose La Poire (i.e., Anjou pear-infused vodka), St. Germain elderflower liqueur and Veuve Clicquot Champagne, and topped with an edible flower, this subdued sipper sounds—and tastes—like a late-summer night’s dream. [821 Marquette Ave., Mpls.; 612.215.3700]
Best Place To Cool Off on a Hot Summer Night
The Peacock Lounge
Erte’s adjoining bar is a beacon of swank in Northeast. No live music, neon beer signs or meat raffles here. Just a cool-looking (not to mention wonderfully air-conditioned) bar where it’s quiet enough to carry on a conversation into the wee hours. [323 13th Ave. N.E., Mpls; 612.623.4211]
Best Place to Get Just One More Drink, and Who Cares What It Is
The Knight Cap
There are two kinds of nightcaps: There’s the beautiful kind—a short glass of something incredible and expensive and worth it, because if you’re going to have just one drink before bed it might as well be a good one. And then there’s the ugly kind: a tall glass of who-cares-what-it-is, because it’s almost bar close and there’s no time to be picky. The Knight Cap specializes in ugly drinks, and we love ’em for it. It’s not just because the name of the bar fits; the Knight Cap is also the perfect final stop before home because it’s cheap, it’s rarely crowded and, if you need a pizza to go with your whatever-on-the-rocks, they serve Heggie’s. [1500 4th St. N.E., Mpls.; 612.789.5233]
Best Place to Splurge on Scotch
St. Paul Hotel
Sure, there are over a hundred varieties of liquid manliness—that’s Scotch, to the layperson—and just as many venues in the Twin Cities to try it. But the main reason you should go all out with your nightcap at the St. Paul Grill—home to one of the best Scotch selections in the Twin Cities: its proximity to the St. Paul Hotel’s pristine lobby, to which Pizza Luce obligingly delivers. [350 Market St, St. Paul; 651.292.9292]
Low-brow dining
Best Diner That Never Closes
Mickey’s
Because you could walk into this iconic streetcar diner at 3:47 a.m. on Christmas Day, order pancakes, a root beer float and a cup of mulligan stew, and no one would bat an eye. [36 W. Seventh St., St. Paul; open 24/7, 365]
Best Reason for a Late-night Hash High
Uptown Diner’s Browns
Think fresh potatoes, soft-boiled every week, then shredded and fried to order, 24/3. [2548 Hennepin Ave., Mpls; 612.874.0481; open 24 hours, Thurs.–Sat.]
Best Place to Color on the Tablecloths
Little Tijuana Restaurant
If you’re going to indulge any late-night munchies, then it might as well be a big ol’ burrito, heavy on the hot sauce. Not only will Little Tijuana hook you up until 3 a.m. daily, but they have paper tablecloths and buckets of crayons (as if you needed more fodder for your beery nostalgia). [17 E. 26th St., Mpls.; 612.872.0578; open daily 11:30 a.m.–3 a.m.]
Best 2 a.m. Meal
Gyros at Mediterranean Deli
When it comes to late-night snacking, it doesn’t get much better than gyros at bar time. Regular patrons at Cedar-Riverside’s many pubs have come to know this little food counter as the home of the city’s best gyro. Rumor has it you don’t have to have just left a bar to enjoy one—a claim we have thus far been unable to verify. [523 Cedar Ave., Mpls.; 612.338.8646; open noon–2:30 a.m. daily]
Best 3 a.m. Meal
The Mega Flameburger
If you want a hot meal at 3 a.m. somewhere in the Twin Cities, you have three options: Look for a giant American flag, shoulder your way into the Mickey’s diner car or go to Flameburger. One of last of a dying breed of all-night diners, the Flame is a greasy spoon of the highest order, and you’d best stick to the basics: eggs and bacon, patty melts and burgers. If you want to push through ’til morning, you’ll need fuel, so get the Mega Flameburger: one whole heartstopping pound of ground beef topped with mayo, four slices of cheese and four slices of bacon, all for just $13.50. Don’t worry—the emergency room is also open 24 hours. [4800 Central Ave. N.E., Mpls.; 763.571.3267 // 2534 Rice St., St Paul; 651.483.8444; closed 6 p.m. Sun.–6 a.m. Mon]
Best Place to Get Caffeinated at Odd Hours
Hard Times Café
It’s 3 a.m., you can’t sleep and you’ve got a hankering for a delicious vegan breakfast. Visit this West Bank landmark for a full veggie menu and what is arguably the Twin Cities’ best cup of coffee. Stop at a 24-hour ATM on the way; Hard Times only accepts cash. [1821 Riverside Ave., Mpls.; 612.341.9261; open daily until 4 a.m.]
High-brow dining
Best Fancy-Pants Hotdish
Haute Dish’s Tater Tot HauteDish
Haute Dish’s spin on this Midwestern classic is a marvel: tender beef short ribs, crispy potato croquettes (a.k.a., tater tots) and porcini béchamel. [119 Washington Ave. N., Mpls.; 612.338.8484; Full menu served until 1 a.m. Fri. & Sat., and midnight Mon.–Thurs.]
Best Setting to Make Your Russian Spy Fantasy a Reality
Moscow On The Hill
You can either handle Moscow on the Hill or you can’t. Everyone in St. Paul’s Cathedral Hill neighborhood seems to have a sordid story in his or her past involving a night at Moscow (let’s just say the vodka list is quite long and leave it at that). The food’s not bad, either. [393 Selby Ave., St. Paul; 651.291.1236; late-night menu: 11 p.m.–Midnight Fri. & Sat.]
Best Late-Night Takeout
Anchor Fish & Chips
Sorry—make that “best late-night take-away.” Anglophilia aside, the Anchor is clearly fluent in the universal language of the stomach, as the ever-present line out their front door attests. Night owls can get the city’s best fish and chips until 1 a.m., and if you don’t feel like waiting for a table, nearly the entire menu is available out the backdoor. And anyway, the fries—sorry, chips—just taste better when they’re wrapped in paper and eaten in the parking lot. [302 13th Ave. N.E., Mpls.; 612.676.1300]
King of Late-Night Dining
112 Eatery
Eaters love him. Other restaurants want to be him. He is 112: probably the best restaurant in Minneapolis, definitely the best place to get a life-changing meal at midnight. [112 N. Third St., Mpls.; 612.343.7696; full menu served until midnight, Mon.–Thurs. and 1 a.m., Sat. & Sun.]
Best Bistro for Night Owls
Café Maude
If the world were a more just place, every neighborhood would house an unpretentious, uncompromisingly great bistro such as Café Maude, which cooks a full menu (think ginger-brined pork tenderloin and lemon- and fennel-crusted salmon) ’til midnight on Fridays and Saturdays. You don’t know how good you have it, Armatage! [5411 Penn Ave. S., Mpls.; 612.822.5411]
Where to Eat Italian When the Moon Hits Your Eye
Bar La Grassa
The biggest restaurant opening of 2009 is now just the Twin Cities’ best Italian restaurant in 2010. Everybody raves about the food—us too—but our favorite part: the hours. The full menu, from antipasti to secondi, is served ’til midnight on weekdays, 1 a.m. on weekends. [800 N. Washington Ave., Mpls.; 612.333.3837]
Best Upscale Pizza
Bar Lurcat’s Tuna Pizza
“Tuna pizza” just sounds wrong, but Bar Lurcat makes it very, very right by topping toasted flatbread with raw tuna, jalapenos, cilantro and a biting little dressing, and offering it on its forward-looking late-night menu. [1624 Harmon Place, Mpls.; 612.486.5500; Late-night menu served until midnight Fri. & Sat.]
Delivery
It’s Saturday Night, You’re in Northeast and You Need a Pizza Delivered to Your Door
Pizza Man
Northeast has come a long way, but it’s still in the Stone Age as far as food delivery is concerned. That’s why Pizza Man, the finest purveyor of Minnesota-style pizza in Columbia Heights, is the hero of the neighborhood. Tip: If you can make the drive, they’ve got carryout specials; they once threw in a free liter of root beer with our order just because we walked through the door. [4045 Central Ave. N.E., Columbia Heights; 763.788.1880; check the website for daily coupons]
Best Sandwich Named After a Cow
Caffrey’s Blue Cow Sub
When it’s 3 a.m. and you’re hungry, nothing’s better than Caffrey’s signature Blue Cow sub, a bleu cheese, bacon and roast beef delight, delivered to your door by one of the shop’s scruffy hipsters. Top it off with Blue Sky Ice Cream and you’ve got a surefire cure for insomnia. (No, really!) [3008 Lyndale Ave. S., Mpls.; 612.822.5551; 10:30 a.m.–3 a.m., daily]
Best High-Brow Pizza Delivered Late
Pizza Luce
Every night is a good night for pizza (just ask the Ninja Turtles!). But with later-than-most delivery, locations sprinkled throughout the Twin Cities (look for a new one in Hopkins soon), and a simply heavenly garlic mashed potato pie, Pizza Luce is pizza power at its finest. [multiple locations; late-night delivery times vary with location]
OUTDOORS
Best Night Hiking
“Walk When the Moon is Full” at Three Rivers Park District
Use the moon—and a professional interpreter courtesy of Three Rivers—to guide you as you as you venture into the area’s best park system after dusk (which is when the really cool stuff happens, of course). August is “Moth Moon,” a night hike devoted to sphinx moths and predators who eat them (think: bats!). Reservations required. [Moth Moon: Aug. 24, 8 p.m. at Lowry Nature Center, North Mississippi Regional Park and Silverwood Park.]
Best Spot for Stargazing
Onan Observatory
This observatory—run by the Minnesota Astronomical Society—is close enough to the city to be convenient (it’s located in Baylor Regional Park in Norwood-Young America) but far enough away to cut through all that pesky light pollution. You missed their “Camping with the Stars” overnight event (it’s held annually in July), but they have bi-monthly “Star Parties” that are a perfect family night out. [10775 County Rd. 33, Young America; 952.467.2426; Star Parties: Aug. 14 and 28, 7 p.m.–10 p.m.]
The Only Situation in Which We’d Recommend Drinking and Biking
The PedalPub
Pub-crawling got a whole lot more fun when the PedalPub came to town a few years ago. In case you haven’t seen this human-powered party bus meandering through your neighborhood: It’s a bar unto its own that is propelled from bar to bar by up to 16 raucous pedalers. Available till 10 p.m. on routes throughout the Twin Cities.
Best Way to Get Paddled Around the St. Croix River by a Guy Wearing a Striped Shirt and a Little Hat With a Ribbon
Gondola Romantica
Bring a bottle, a snack and your sweetie, and let Gondola Romantica spirit you away on an authentic Venitian rowboat. [cruises depart from downtown Stillwater and run until 1 a.m. on weekends; 651.439.1783]
GAMES
Best Bar Bingo
Blingo
What is blingo? It’s bingo played to rap music. But it’s more than that. It’s laughing along with hilarious hostess Ellie Blades. It’s winning free drinks for making a chalice on your bingo card. It’s screaming “blingo!” at a frequency only dogs can hear, as if that winning bingo card were the most important thing in your life. Because in that victorious micro-moment, it is. [Mondays at the 501 Club; Tuesdays at the 331 Club; Thursdays at the Triple Rock Social Club]
Best Place to Avoid Sunlight at Any Hour of the Day
Mystic Lake Casino
Time doesn’t exist inside Mystic Lake, where the architecture, floor plan, hideous carpeting and endless slot machine din are all designed to lull you into a hypnotic state of slack-jawed wallet-opening. Which, y’know, can feel sort of freeing sometimes, especially in the middle of the night. And especially if you’re winning. Even the risk-adverse can find their comfort zone here amid the nickel slots, and while you’re at it, you can buy Willie Nelson tickets (he’s coming Oct. 8). [2400 Mystic Lake Blvd. N.W., Prior Lake; 952.445.9000]
Best Late-Night Mini-Golf
Lili Putt Mini Golf
Mini-golf, go-carts and bumper boats, oh my! Every child’s dream is your grown-up reality at Lili Putt Miniature Golf course in Coon Rapids. Open daily ‘til midnight, we recommend showing up late so you’ll have fewer kids to fight for the best bumper boat. [1349 Coon Rapids Blvd., Coon Rapids; 763.755.1450; 10 a.m.–12 a.m., daily]
Best Bowling After Dark
Memory Lanes
This Seward neighborhood hotspot has made a strong run at Bryant-Lake Bowl’s title as kingpin among hipster alleycats. Come for punk rock bowling on Mondays; stay for the $2 pints during the late-night happy hour. [2520 26th Ave. S., Mpls.; 612.721.6211; late-night happy hour: 9:30 p.m.–11 p.m. Tues.–Thurs.]
SHOPPING & FASHION
Best Fashion Show After-Party
Glamorama
Sure, Glamorama, Macy’s high-fashion runway/live music show at the Orpheum Theater on Aug. 6th, will be awesome, but we’re even more excited for the amazing food- and drink-filled post-party on Macy’s rooftop overlooking downtown. Tickets cost $175 to $750, and they’re worth every penny. [700 Nicollet Mall, 9 p.m.–12:30 a.m., Aug. 6th]
Best Way to Buy a Fred Perry Messenger Bag at Midnight
Martin Patrick 3’s late-night shopping events
Martin Patrick 3, purveyor of cuff links, valet boxes and other masculine accessories, understands that men of distinction often enjoy spending money very late at night. Enter its occasional late-night shopping events, featuring food, drink and discounts on ornaments for the modern playboy. [121 N. First St., Mpls.; 612.746.5329; to receive info about upcoming late-night shopping events, join MP3’s email list]
Best Place to Wear Locally Designed Clothes
Voltage
Catch up on the latest and greatest in local fashion and music with Voltage: Fashion Amplified, First Ave.’s annual rock ‘n’ roll runway show in April. Ten designers and five bands come together for a long night of canoodling with the Twin Cities’ most stylish scenesters. [701 First Ave. N., Mpls.; 612.338.8388; 8 p.m.–12 a.m., mid-April]
Best Place to Watch a Fashion Shoot
Fivetwosix Salon
Photography, fashion, music, beauty and art collide at “Go Live”—an interactive art opening happening every couple months at FiveTwoSix Salon in St. Paul. Partygoers sip drinks, listen to music and peruse the gallery while stylists beautify a model for a live photo shoot. [526 Selby Ave., St. Paul; 651.222.3839; 7 p.m.–11 p.m.; checkwebsite for upcoming shows]
CULTURE
Theater and cabaret
Best Place to Test Your New Standup/Juggling/Interpretive Dance Routine
“Balls” at the Southern Theater
Every Saturday night at midnight, the Southern Theater hosts a take-all-comers cabaret that, most weeks, rivals the best theater in town. More than a simple open-mic, it’s a safe room for performers of all skills and levels to try new material, who often repay the supportive crowd with a night—dance, storytelling, whatever!—to remember. [1420 Washington Ave. S., Mpls.; 612.340.1725; “Balls”: Saturdays at midnight.]
Most Unpredictable Late-Night Theater Scene
Patrick’s Cabaret
Like a late-night interview with Joaquin Phoenix, you never know what you’re going to get at Patrick’s Cabaret. From naked yoga (yikes!) and teen dance parties to West African drumming and some of the edgiest cabaret acts in town, Patrick’s has something for everyone. [3010 Minnehaha Ave., Mpls; 612.724.6273]
Best Theater in a Bowling Alley
Bryant-Lake Bowl Theater
This black box performance space is for the performing arts buff who likes to keep things cozy (the room has only 85 seats), watch late shows (most start at 10 p.m.) and doesn’t have a preference for genre (shows vary from stand-up comedy to theater to contemporary dance). Just get there early—seats fill up fast, and you don’t want to be stuck on the stairs. [810 W. Lake St., Mpls; 612.825.8949; late-night happy hour: 10 p.m.–2 a.m., Mon.–Thurs.]
Best Drag Show that John Waters Would Love
The Wild, Wacky Thursday Night Drag shows at Gay ’90s.
Because sometimes the dancers forget to shave. [408 Hennepin Ave., Mpls; Thursday night drag shows start at 10 p.m.]
Movies
Best Reason to Hit the Movies Before the Bar
+21 V.I.P. Room at M.O.A. Theatre
Because the movie is the bar! The V.I.P. room is for guests of drinking age and features plush, high-back seats and full-service concessions. Beer and wine are served at select screenings seven days a week. Head to CRAVE restaurant afterward to receive a complimentary glass of house wine or domestic tap beer in return for your ticket stub. [401 E. Broadway, Bloomington; 952.851.0074]
Best Place to Watch the Best Worst Movie of All Time
The Uptown Theater
That would be Troll II, which the Uptown frequently screens at its legendary midnight movies series. [2906 Hennepin Ave., Mpls.; 612.825.6006]
Best Midnight Movies
Riverview Theater
South Minneapolis’s cinematic art-deco treasure isn’t just the best-looking theater around—it’s also got an ace midnight movie program. August highlights include Amelie (8/6 & 7), a double feature of the cult hits Serenity and Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog (8/13 & 14) and Pulp Fiction (8/20 & 21). [3800 42nd Ave. S., Mpls.; 612.729.7369]
Best Outdoor Movie Series
Solera’s Rooftop Movies
Leave this Spanish restaurant’s dining room behind and climb to its breathtaking downtown rooftop for a decidedly American activity: outdoor movie-viewing. This month on the projector screen: Big Lebowski (8/17), Grease (8/3) and others. [900 Hennepin Ave., Mpls,; 612.338.0062; dusk, Tues. & Wed.]
Best Nerdy Movie Night
JagerCon
Remember all those geeks you picked on (or ran with) in high school? They’re the cool kids now, living out their nerdy proclivities with JagerCon, a weekly sci-fi movie night at Clubhouse Jäger, put on by l’etoile magazine. We’re talking screenings of Star Trek, Doctor Who and Dune paired with two-for-one drink specials. Now who’s popular? [923 Washington Ave. N., Mpls; 612.332.2686; 10 p.m.-2 a.m., Tuesdays]
Best Drive-In
Vali-Hi
Little-known fact: Jefferson’s first draft of the Declaration of Independence included four inalienable rights: life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and the right to eat licorice ropes on the hood of your car with your main squeeze while watching movies amid a backdrop of stars. (Hamilton probably made him cut it, the turd.) Still: God bless Vali-Hi Drive-In, and God bless America. [11260 Hudson Blvd. N., Lake Elmo; 651.436.7464; three movies every night, beginning at dusk]
Nightclubs
Best Place to Dance to “I Feel Love”
Menergy at the Kitty Cat Klub
Menergy is the kinky, kitschy, utterly pulsating brainchild of local DJs extraordinaire Bach 666, The Nightstalker and Sweet Talk Radio. Expect to hear a lot of Donna Summer. [315 S.E. 14th Ave., Mpls.; 612.331.9800; last Saturday of every month, 10 p.m.]
Best Hip-Hop Dance Night
Get Cryphy
Thirty-second rap etymology lesson: “Hyphy” is a Bay Area shortening of the word “hyperactive” and essentially means the same thing as “crunk,” which is a Southern-American contraction of the words “crazy” and “drunk.” Now comes “cryphy,” which is—you guessed it—“crunk” and “hyphy,” both of which describe, better than real words, what goes on at “Get Cryphy,” First Avenue’s hip-hop DJ night. Helmed by DJs Plain Ole Bill and Jimmy2times. [701 North 1st Ave., Mpls.; 612.338.8388; Aug. 6, 10 p.m. in the Record Room]
Best Pretty People-Watching
Jetset
Tucked away in the warehouse district, Jetset is a bar for pretty people. Pretty, well-dressed people. Pretty, well-dressed people who want to see other pretty, well-dressed people that happen to be gay. Grab a seat on the minimalist leather benches and enjoy the view. [115 First St. N., Mpls; 612.339.3933]
Best Dance Night, Period
Transmission at Club Jäger
DJ Jake Rudh is the king of retro jams—everything from the ‘60s through the ‘90s, David Bowie to Devo to Bobby Brown. No one in town is more responsible for the fact the Twin Citians finally started dancing these last few years (it’s about time). Perhaps it’s also about time you went to Transmission, his ever-popular night at Club Jäger, and saw what the fun is all about. [923 Washington Ave. N., Mpls.; 612.332.2686; Transmission: Wednesdays, 10 p.m.]
Best Reason to Buy a New Pair of Fancy Undies
First Saturday At The Bolt Underground
The first Saturday of every month at this crammed club means it’s time to loosen up even more than usual. The recurring underwear party provides the perfect excuse to lose those inhibitions. [501 Washington Ave. S., Mpls.; 612.338.0896]
Least Skeezy Place to Dance The Night Away
Too Much Love
First Avenue’s latest incarnation of an 18+ dance night (remember Sunday Night Dance Party?) is hosted by DJ Sovietpanda and friends every Saturday in the Mainroom. Hydrate with 2-4-1s on rail drinks until midnight and dance until dawn—or at least until 2 or so. [701 N. 1st Avenue, Mpls; 612.332.1775]
Strip clubs/Sex shops
Best Adults-Only Coin-Operated Ride
“The Big One” at Sex World
It’s—oh, we’re not even going to tell you what it is. Just use your imagination. [241 2nd Ave. N., Mpls.; 612.672.0556]
Best 18+ Strip Club
Sinners
It’s adjacent to, and owned by, Sex World. Because if you’re going to go to a strip club, it may as well be one run by the Midwest’s largest sex emporium, right? We go for the juice bar. [121 N. Washington Ave., Mpls.; 612.746.0666; amateur night every Wednesday]
Comedy
Best Comedy Club
ACME
After 15 years of funny, ACME is still the place to laugh at (or with) up-and-comers (its Monday night open mic is the proving ground for stand-ups) and heavy hitters. [708 N. First St., Mpls.]
Best Comedy Club That Isn’t ACME
Rick Bronson’s House Of Comedy
Like ACME, this recently opened club books national names (Godfrey performs there next month; you know, the 7-up guy?) and fresh-faced locals. It sits inside that big mall in Bloomington, so if you’ve got buyer’s blues after a long day of consuming, head to Rick’s for a pick-me-up. [Located on level 4 of the Mall of America]
Music
Best Bar to Watch the Twins While Listening to Live Show Tunes
Tickles Bar
Finally, a six-foot Hallett Davis Grand Piano surrounded by pool, darts and the Twins (on television, that is). If ivory-tickling isn’t your thing, the Twin Cities’ only gay piano-sports bar hosts a Wii Bowling tournament every Thursday night. [420 4th St. S., Mpls; 612.354.3846]
Best Rock Rooms That Won’t Kick You Out at Midnight
The Turf Club, 7th Street Entry and Big V’s
All three have live music way past the witching hour (midnight, according to European folklore)—appropriate given that rock is the devil’s soundtrack. [The Turf Club: 1601 University Ave., St. Paul // 7th Street Entry: 701 N. First Ave., Mpls. // Big V’s: 1567 University Ave. W., St. Paul]
Best Lounge Music Scene
Honey at Ginger Hop
The sweet to Northeast’s dive-bar brut is Honey, a cozy, candlelit cocktail lounge below Ginger Hop. Inspired by the New York basement lounge scene, Honey also hosts live jazz, show tunes and lounge acts throughout the week—which you can enjoy over a flight of chocolate (we recommend the house-made bacon truffle). [205 E. Hennepin Ave., Mpls; 612.746.0306]
Best Dinner and a Show
Barbette
French bistro Barbette is quaint as a calla lily, and its late-night music series follows suit, with singer-songwriters like Alicia Wiley (8/5) and Sophia Shorai (8/12) adding unobtrusive charm to your wine sipping and mussel slurping. [1600 W. Lake St.; 612.827.5710; Live music starts at 10 p.m. on Mondays and Thursdays. Late-night menu: 10 p.m.–12:30 a.m., Sun.–Thurs.]
Best Musician Hangout that Doubles as a Killer Restaurant
Nick and Eddie
We’ve spied Lori Barbero working behind the bar, Jimmy Jam sitting at the bar and P.O.S. performing adjacent to the bar—all while enjoying some of the most delectable and affordable vittles in town. [1612 Harmon Pl., Mpls.; 612.486.5800; Full menu served until midnight on Fri. & Sat.]
Best Late-Night Music Series
“Dakota Late Night”
Admittance into the area’s top jazz club can get a little spendy when the big acts—such as recent legendary visitors Doc Severinsen and Booker T—come to town. For our money, the best time to visit is after 11 p.m. on Fridays and Saturdays, when the cover charge drops to $5 and lower-profile local acts take the stage. Diehard jazz fans may not be impressed, but we dig the recent “Dakota Late Night” lineups, which have included such performers as City on the Make and Lucy Michelle & the Velvet Lapelles. [1010 Nicollet Mall, Mpls.; 612.332.1010; ‘Dakota Late Night’: 11 p.m.–12:30 a.m. Fri. & Sat.]
Best Late-Night Jazz Scene
Jazz Implosion at the Turf Club’s Clown Lounge
Local trio Fat Kid Wednesdays—bassist Adam Linz, drummer J.T. Bates and saxophonist Michael Lewis—have been bitten by the big-everywhere-but-home bug that afflicts so many Twin Cities bands. They regularly play to adoring crowds in Europe, and The New Yorker recently gushed about their live performances, calling them “exhilarating” and “must-see.” Here in Minnesota we’re so spoiled that we get to see them every Monday night in a St. Paul bar basement, but that doesn’t make those descriptors any less true. [1601 University Ave. W., St Paul; 651.647.0486; Jazz Implosion: 10 p.m. Mondays, $5]
Best Late-Night Busker
The trumpeter on Nicollet Mall
Listen for the guy who sings like the Byrd (that would be legendary trumpeter Donald Byrd for all you non-jazz heads out there).
Non-traditional spaces
Least-Predictable Night Out
The West Bank Social Center
Serving as a home base for Works Progress—the creative camp responsible for such events as Salon Saloon (a “live magazine” stage show) and Give & Take (essentially show-and-tell for grownups)—the West Bank Social Center’s calendar is best summed up by its tagline: “Unexpected things are happening.” They’ve done 100-course dinners, university lectures, sleepovers and science-themed dance parties. What’s up next? We have no idea, and that’s the whole point. [501 Cedar Ave., Mpls.; above the Nomad World Pub]
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